So, it looks like I will soon be leaving this crazy land of cowboys to head back to the world of cornfields. It still seems bizarre to me that I have actually lived in Texas, but it is perhaps even more surprising that this path is somehow leading me back to Ohio. What a funny life this is...

Sometime around October 20, Ryan and I will be driving up to Cincinnati where we will both begin internships at a community house. So far, I have had a variety of responses. Mom couldn't be happier, but Dad is warning me not to shave my head and don orange robes. Some of my friends sound ready to pack their things and join me. Others have cautioned me about placing myself inside a bubble.

Of course, most people are asking me why I would want to do this. Its a legitimate question. Let me try to answer...

I've never been someone who could be satisfied doing some meaningless job to make money and accumulate stuff. So I have spent the last three years trying to find a place where I can do something that matters. And I think along the way, God has given me some pretty incredible opportunities. It was this desire to find purpose that brought me down to Texas in the first place. I was going to study and become a missionary and save all those poor people who don't have Bibles. But somewhere along the way, I realized that I really don't even like linguistics and that I have a whole lot to learn about myself and missions and God.

I guess I've stopped convincing myself that I know what I'm doing. And I'm finding out that its okay to feel like I don't have direction, because I know one thing for sure: I want to run toward God. Or at least I want to want Him.

The Community House provides an environment for healthy discipleship. It emphasizes simplicity, prayer, and community. But I also understand that I can't sit around waiting to have all the answers before I make myself available to God. The Community House is a place to focus on seeking God, while also actively and creatively reaching out to people in the neighborhood who have real needs. There is a healthy balance between learning and serving, and this is very important to me. I would like to think that this experience will ultimately lead me to find a more long-term place of service. Mostly, I just want to listen and to be available.

There have been those who have questioned my reasons for leaving an "effective ministry" here with the kids to seek God elsewhere. Afterall, isn't Texas God's favorite state? I don't have a simple answer for this, but I have seen God open doors. Already, there is wonderful, commited person who is ready to fill my position when I leave. Yesterday I felt sick all night before I telling the kids that I would no longer be RCC's children's pastor. Several of the kids were crying, but I actually feel like it went pretty well. Somehow, despite feeling genuinely sad to go, I have great peace about the move.

So that's a little bit about what's going on. Please check out the Community House's website if you're interested in finding out more. (www.vineyardcentral.com - look under community house.) And let me know what you're thinking about this whole crazy thing.